Monday, January 17, 2011

Finding "me"

Have you ever felt like you are just wondering along, day after day, trying to find your way?

My life has changed so much in the past few years, not bad things, just changes and I feel like I'm always in the process of becoming "me." How am I? What does that even mean. Lately I'm thinking, becoming me may be a paradox in my mind. If at some point I don't just accept "me" as I am, where I am...I may be searching forever. I know who I am in Christ- I know the truths of who He says I am. I know it in my head, I'm trying to feel it in my heart and to my bones.

I start a new semester of Bible study tomorrow, I think I'm going in with a new mindset- a new perspective. I am me, I'm Jackie...flawed, confused, but me. I'm not going to fake it anymore. My pastor said on Sunday that he hates fake people and it really hit me. I'm not fake, but I certainly put on the "I'm fine" face and go forward. So my new challenge to myself is to be real, at whatever cost, be real and allow people into my heart and into my challenges with me. What's the worst that could happen...they ignore me? No loss there. I need community (that's a post for another day) I need accountability and I need to be real. So...tomorrow is a new day, new Bible study and a new challenge to myself.


  1. Welcome back my friend! I was thinking about when I first found all of the Siestas, and what life was like common thread was the blog! Life has taken many sharp turns, and FB and twitter got in the way of blogging, but it's good to be back! Love you sweet sister!

  2. Glad we're in study together! Thanks for sharing your honesty.

    Kristina L.